It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
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