did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Randomize
