hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
