So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize