hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Randomize
