Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
