I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
