butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Randomize
