i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize