I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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