I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
