Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
