I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
