cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
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