Taylor Swift is so right about you.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
