When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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