she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
