The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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