The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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