This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Randomize