Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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