Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
