If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
