So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Your cock deserves a montage
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
