i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
