what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Randomize
