There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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