She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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