is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
