Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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