So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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