it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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