STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Shame is for Republicans.
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