"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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