I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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