someone threw a dead crab at me
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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