we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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