So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
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He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
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the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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