Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
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