vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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