dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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