Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
