Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
