I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
why do cheetos always look like penises
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
