i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
they need to just BURY HIM!
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
