I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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