Umm I'm too high to move.
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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