Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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