YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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