What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
