he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Randomize
