Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(973): View more from New Jersey

oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick

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(973): oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick http://tfl.nu/qy0n

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(203): View more from Connecticut

she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.

(860): View more from Connecticut

what did you do?

(203): View more from Connecticut

i asked her out. that's so hot.

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(203): she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex. (860): what did you do? (203): i asked her out. that's so hot. http://tfl.nu/dg3d

Replies (56) Good night (9433) Bad night (784)
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(858): View more from California

I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth

(1-858): View more from California

Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?

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(858): I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth (1-858): Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again? http://tfl.nu/8rfw

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(213): View more from California

are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town

(1-213): View more from California

well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT

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(213): are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town (1-213): well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT http://tfl.nu/kbwd

Replies (14) Good night (784) Bad night (5912) Order T-Shirt
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(203): View more from Connecticut

i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.

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(203): i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse. http://tfl.nu/mns9

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.

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(412): I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon. http://tfl.nu/2tzw

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(313): View more from Michigan

So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.

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(313): So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial. http://tfl.nu/zbd1

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(402): View more from Nebraska

She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.

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(402): She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night. http://tfl.nu/vsnq

Replies (17) Good night (755) Bad night (3338) Order T-Shirt
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(407): View more from Florida

So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves

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(407): So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves http://tfl.nu/mggy

Replies (20) Good night (5977) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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(210): View more from Texas

Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....

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(210): Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later..... http://tfl.nu/qwdm

Replies (1) Good night (5050) Bad night (978) Order T-Shirt
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(515): View more from Iowa

In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.

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(515): In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much. http://tfl.nu/n8ik

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me

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(203): Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me http://tfl.nu/81ac

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(312): View more from Illinois

He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.

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(312): He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now. http://tfl.nu/rrnv

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(409): View more from Texas

The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.

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(409): The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out. http://tfl.nu/ni31

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(678): View more from Georgia

I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink

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(678): I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink http://tfl.nu/zdy9

Replies (11) Good night (832) Bad night (860) Order T-Shirt

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