Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs http://tfl.nu/kfrc
  Replies (19) Good night (1102) Bad night (2272)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (361): I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing. http://tfl.nu/i6wh
  Replies (29) Good night (619) Bad night (3681)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (631): My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list. http://tfl.nu/ispc
  Replies (23) Good night (794) Bad night (2403)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  isnt it creepy that our bodies make people

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): isnt it creepy that our bodies make people http://tfl.nu/vg9u
  Replies (98) Good night (6070) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS http://tfl.nu/yr3m
  Replies (8) Good night (4272) Bad night (687)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?

  (1-306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Don't tempt me, I need beer money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (306): So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob? (1-306): Don't tempt me, I need beer money. http://tfl.nu/pmfd
  Replies (26) Good night (6055) Bad night (926)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up. http://tfl.nu/dso2
  Replies (20) Good night (1061) Bad night (4978)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (502): battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever. http://tfl.nu/blg1
  Replies (4) Good night (3895) Bad night (784)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (858): for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers http://tfl.nu/nh9s
  Replies (19) Good night (4236) Bad night (1613)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (336): Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car. http://tfl.nu/8ezv
  Replies (11) Good night (1912) Bad night (936)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol. http://tfl.nu/8fl0
  Replies (7) Good night (1826) Bad night (758)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (919): I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going... http://tfl.nu/t999
  Replies (7) Good night (311) Bad night (1065)
• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip http://tfl.nu/igio
  Replies (3) Good night (870) Bad night (371)
• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore. http://tfl.nu/x6ui
  Replies (3) Good night (782) Bad night (265)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night http://tfl.nu/2x2r
  Replies (1) Good night (670) Bad night (237)

Randomize