I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?