I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
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I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.