Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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