Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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