Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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