He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
