carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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