I cockslap morals
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
