Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize