so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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