Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
either way he was missing a nipple.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
