so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
