FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Your penis caused this!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
