There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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