I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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