i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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